It is not news to anybody that one profession that for many years has had a lot of bad things said about it, and the people who work the job is acting, especially for women. A lot has been said about actresses. In Nollywood, actresses are seen as “loose”, “morally corrupt”, and “messy”. Many people fantasize about being with actresses but not many people actually want to date or marry actresses, at least that is the public discourse around it.
Nollywood actress Lilian Afegbai last month took to social media to share a story about how she lost a potential relationship simply because the boy who was toasting her found out that she is an actress. Lilian said in part,
“Omo, this celebrity status, I want to be celebrity, are you prepared because it is not easy. No be the one wey you go reach 30 years and you will say you want to jump the fence and say oh, I am depressed. It is not easy ooo. Three weeks ago, you know say I dey do akanchawa real estate one side. I come dey close deal with one guy on the side wey buy property from my boss I dey work for. I come meet him friend who is a single guy. You know single girls when you meet clean guys, you will just be chitchatting. I come dey ask the guy, oh are you married? He said no. Do you have kids? He said no. Everything just dey nice and I said what God cannot do does not exist, my own time don reach. We come dey chat, in two weeks, the guy don dey show me some moves. One day, we went for dinner and he asked me why I am always saying we are shooting. He also asked what else I did. I come dey run my mouth, I told him I am an actress, I told him that I stopped at a time, but I am back again. I also told him that I influence for some brands. I no know say na the resume wey go scatter everywhere na wetin I dey drop. Na so the guy reverse, he reverse like 360 degree, e be like magic. He sent me an Instagram page and asked if it was my page and I said yes, that was the last time I heard from the guy. Yesterday, the guy come call me and said since I told him I was an actress, he doesn’t want wahala. I told the guy that I am different, it’s just a fake life and he said we should just be business partners. I just dey sad.“
Now, during a new interview with The Punch, Lilian Afegbai is talking about that incident, how she feels about it now, and what she says to people who say actresses don’t make good wives. Here’s what Lilian Afegbai said.
Speaking to Punch, Lilian Afegbai said:
After that incident, I felt more reassured that God will send the right person to me. It was a wake-up call for me to know that what is not mine is not mine. The guy in question is not a bad person. He knows what he wants. It also does not mean I am a bad person because I am an actress. When God says it is time is when I will get married.
All I am going to say is that it is not easy to be in the entertainment industry; it is hard work. Most times, one cannot change the perception of people. One just has to be true to oneself. But, I want people to know that they cannot always label everybody because of the experiences they have had with one or two persons.
People should stop being judgmental. Let’s show more love because the world needs more of that.
As much as people say actresses don’t make good wives, some actors are married and happy. We should stop focusing on the negative but rather on the positive. Veteran actress, Joke Silva, is still married to another veteran, Olu Jacobs. Even if people say they belong to an older generation, there are many young actors who are married and are happy. In the banking, medical and other sectors, people also get divorced. If one goes to court, one will find that people from different walks of life get divorced every day.
What do you think? Do you think you would date an actress? And what do you think about Lilian’s experience and story? Let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment either below or on my Jide Okonjo Facebook post.